How to Protect Your Child From the Stress of Divorce

Some of the most stressful periods in people’s lives include the death of a loved one, job loss, and sustaining of a significant injury. Divorce is also among the most stressful events that any person can experience in his or her lifetime. Unfortunately, children are the most affected, and can feel the greatest stress that of a divorce. They feel uncertain over how their lives will change after the divorce. They also feel guilty, blaming themselves for the end of their parents’ marriage. This generates a truly stressed-out adolescent. However, there are ways to keep your child protected from the stress caused by a divorce.

Divorce and Children (Photo credit: o5com)

 

Keep Your Child and Divorce out of the Courtroom

Historically, divorce has been difficult for children as they became involved in courtroom custody battles in which they must choose sides or assess blame. However, divorce proceedings have recently seen a new approach, especially in the last decade, that allow parents and their children to go through the divorce process in a more amicable, less stressful way. Indeed, a collaborative approach to divorce will help lessen the stress and even the cost associated with divorce.

Look up Divorce Laws in Your State for Clarity

There are number of issues that make divorce hearings more difficult. For example, a Virginia child custody lawyer is dealing with different legal custody, physical custody and visitation arrangements than an attorney in Los Angeles, California. Child custody laws are different in every state, however, the health and happiness of a child is paramount to any divorce proceeding regardless of geography.

Explore Collaborative Divorce

The idea of a collaborative divorce is that parents are working out their issues through direct communication with each other instead of passing information back and forth through attorneys. Customarily, couples will sign a collaborative participation agreement. By signing the agreement, each parent is agreeing not to take the case to court. Indeed, courtrooms are a stressful environment, especially to a child unaccustomed to those surroundings. Collaborative divorce allows for discussions and resolutions to take place almost entirely out of the court room.

In a collaborative divorce, attorneys are on hand to offer consultation or to give more advice but they are not there to discuss divorce settlements or terms. Ideally, the children are the focal points of the divorce with a goal of reducing their stress and anxiety. Child custody is a highly emotive issue but a signed contract that purports to put your child’s interests first will help to get both parents working together toward an arrangement that is in the best interest of the child.

Costs are also reduced in a collaborative divorce. Indeed, when both parties are on the same page about the structure by which their union will end, there is less money spent on lawyer deliberations, and more time spent on securing the emotional well-being of the children involved.

 

Computers and Your Kids

Without undue stress, this is the age of technology. The 21st century is an era like no other. Virtually everything we do is under the influence of science and technology. The reality of today is that you have to flow with the tide or you will be left behind. That is the reason why you need to get your child a computer set so as to blend in a society that is fast changing and utterly dependent on the wizardry of modern technology.

Talking of computers, it will be unwise for you to get the latest laptop complete with fingerprint recognition technology for your child that is still in the necessary. The point that is being made here is that you need to start easy and simple so that you do not end up confusing the tiny tot. there are computers that have been specially made for young children and they are also sold at affordable prices.

After purchasing the computer for your children, ensure that you teach them how to use it even though children have this uncanny ability to master electronics in a little time. Once they have mastered how to use it, you have to make sure they make practical use of the gadget and it should not be all about games alone. Let them use it for basic mathematics, take grammar lessons, simple geography quizzes, browsing online courses through accredited online colleges and even art lessons as well. Through the use of the computer, your child can learn of other places and cultures in other parts of the world. The computer is more of a window to the world,  it opens your child to the world by providing him or her with all the sophistication that is needed.

Safety in the Home

One fact of life is that death or injury is inevitable. However, with a little care and caution, some of these cases can be prevented or reduced. That is why it is important to take certain steps to ensure security and safety in the home. The percentage of households affected by domestic accidents is so staggering that it is now almost a common place. But, as mentioned earlier, these accidents can be prevented.

Prevention is better than cure and is even more important when you have young kids in the home. The kitchen is a place where many domestic accidents happen. It can be in the form of an explosion of the gas cylinder, spilling hot oil on the skin or even cutting a finger. To prevent any of these incidents affecting your children, minimize their coming into the kitchen for any reason, after all they cannot cook. Locate the fridge in the dining room so that they will not enter the kitchen where they can play with the gas knob under the pretext of getting a cup of water in the refrigerator.

As a parent, you need to ensure that all chemical substances are kept out of reach of those little children that tend to experiment with everything. Such experiments include licking toothpaste or pouring talc powder all over the room. A child that swallows the content of in adhesive tube mistaking it for a toothpaste will cause undue trouble for the already stressed-out parent. Thus, substances like paints, varnishes, adhesives, acids, alkalis, fuels, engine oils and the likes must be kept out of their reach. Teach them basic tips about electricity so that your son does not put a nail in the socket.

Your Children and Toys

If we are to trace the history of toys, we will end up at the time man himself appeared on the surface of the earth. For centuries, toys have been an integral part of the human society and even in the ultra-modern and sophisticated world of the 21st century, toys are still very much around and are showing absolutely no sign of going into extinction.

When the word toy is mentioned, it is also easy to visualize a child. This is because children are more associated with toys even though adults too have their own brands. Toys are important for your kids and a child can fall sick if you do not get her that fine doll or helicopter. There is no need arguing about the importance of toys to children.

However, in the world of today, there are toys and there are toys. This is to state that some toys are not good for the children. Toys like guns, dummy explosives and catapult tend to imprint violence and hostility in your children’s brains. The same thing applies to video games that are based on violence and shootings. If you do not want your child to turn to into a serial killer, it is high time you tossed that toy revolver into the trash can.

Toys are good, but not all of them. To let your child get the best out of toys, it is not only important but necessary as well that you procure toys that will stimulate development and creativity in your children. Toys like these are easy to get and fortunately, they are not expensive. A example of creative toys that you can get for your child is the Lego bricks set.

Balancing Work and Parenthood

From the beginning of time, one of the toughest jobs that we have been saddled with as human beings is that of raising children. Being a parent is not an easy occupation at all. When you now consider the fact that in the modern world, most parents have to hustle and work so to provide meals on the table for their children, the whole concept becomes more daunting and challenging.

But in an age like this, most parents have to go to work or they will starve alongside the kids. You can afford not to work only if you are very wealthy. For those that have to combine work with raising kids, it is important to strike a balance so that neither work nor family will suffer.

If you are a mother with young kids, you can lessen the rigor and tension by taking your children to day care centers while you go off to work. If the children happen to be too young to be left in a day care center, then you will have to apply for a maternity leave so as to have time to cater for the kids until they grow old enough to stay with a nanny. As a father, you can also help out by taking the kids and dropping them off at the nanny’s or at school. Give a helping hand in whatever way you can, this is to ensure that no single partner is weighed down by the stress and demands of being a parent. It is quite unfair for the father to leave all the raising the child to the mother. Several online college degrees sites are available on internet for a better course on parenthood for new parents.

As a parent with a career, it is important that you squeeze time out of your busy schedule to interact with your children and ask them about schoolwork or help with assignments. Do not be the parent that is more of a stranger at home.

Pets and Your Children

Right from time immemorial, man has been known to be a lover and keeper of pets. This is adequately captured in the saying that the dog is man’s best friend. Animals that have been domesticated are kept as pets in various homes all over the globe. You can also replicate the same scenario in your home by introducing them to pets. Many kids are also fond of pets.

However, before you go ahead with the pets issue, you must ensure that your kid is a true lover of animals and not one that is scared of them. The fact that you love rabbits does not mean that Junior will be a big fan of Big Ears as well. Once you have been able to establish the fact your children love animals and would  want to keep them as pets, you need to also make sure that they are not allergic to animal fur or droppings. By letting kids who are allergic to animals keep  them as pets is tantamount to endangering their health.

Once the coast is clear, then you can go ahead and get a pet for him or her. One important point that you have to note here is that it is always nice to take the child to the pet shop and let him or her make the selection. You may be thinking of a puppy while she has been fantasizing about a parrot. Apart from that, letting the child make the selection imbues him or her with joy and a sense of care.

After the purchase, it is left to you to give the new pet owner a nice lecture on how to take good care of the pet. This is necessary even though your child will end up knowing more about the pet than you in no time. You can assist by providing money to buy pet food and drugs.

Giant Size

Did you know that the average American family of four spends somewhere between $600.00 and $800.00 per month on their food bill? That’s a pretty good chunk of a family’s overall monthly budget. We all need to eat to survive, but do we really need to spend that much on food?

If you don’t want to end up overextending your prepaid credit card and busting your budget, there are a number of things that we can do to lower the monthly food bill. The quickest of these is to stop eating out so much. Eating out is always more expensive than eating at home. Prepared foods fall in this same category. If you cook it yourself, the money you save is kind of like paying yourself to cook it.

I love those little labels they put on the grocery store shelf with the “per ounce” price of things. I’ve lowered my family’s monthly food bill by over $50.00 per month, just by paying attention to those. Lots of things are less expensive when buying in the giant size package than when buying individual servings. Let me show you a few examples:

  • Potato chips – One large bag of potato chips (or any salty snack) costs about as much as three individual packages and contains enough for eight; re-bag it yourself.
  • Breakfast cereal – The large bagged cereals in the grocery store cost about 40% less per ounce than the boxed version.
  • Canned fruit – The individual packages for your kid’s lunches cost double what it would cost to buy large cans and put it in reusable plastic containers.
  • Salad dressing – My family goes through ranch dressing like it’s going out of style. I buy the large bottle, and pour it into the “squeeze bottle” for my kids. That saves me about 30% over buying the smaller bottle.

I think you’re getting the idea here. Bring a calculator to the grocery store with you. Take a look at those labels, you’ll find lots of ways to save money by buying giant size.

Success Starts Early

Success in life depends more on attitude than aptitude. One who has the right attitude can’t be held down, because they’ll get right back up again. It’s like a child learning to walk. None of them really have the aptitude when they start, but they all have a desire to learn how to walk. They try and they fall down; they get up and fall down again, the next time… yep, they fall down once more. But you know; they don’t stop trying.

Having the right attitude will make a person face the impossible, and come out victorious. So, where do these attitudes come from? More than that, can we positively affect the attitude of our children?

I have good news for you, the answer is that our attitudes, like our personality and character are mostly formed during the first five years of life; those years which are referred to as the formative years. Who has the greatest influence on the formative years of a child’s life? You’re right, you as a parent do. During those years you can instill a love for learning in your child, which will get them through all the years that follow. You can literally program them for success.

So, how do you do this? Really it’s quite simple. Children are the world’s greatest copycats. So, if you want your child to do something, all you have to do is do that thing. Without even realizing it, they’ll follow you, doing what you’re doing, as you’re doing it, even for the same reason you are doing it (without you having to directly tell them your reason).

If you have a home where all you do is sit in front of the television, vegetating; your children will grow up as couch potatoes. However, if you have a home rich in intellectual activities, such as reading, games, and interactive educational activities on the Internet, your children will grow up enjoying those things. You will have created the potential for success within their attitudes.

You Don’t Need Their Help

Have you ever noticed how good your kids are at reorganizing and redecorating your house? It’s amazing the knack they have for finding new places to store things which you thought always had to be put away. You know, like storing pots and pans in the middle of the kitchen floor and removing all the toilet paper from the roll, so it can make your bathroom look like a plate of spaghetti.

How much time do you spend per day cleaning up stuff your kids left out? Never mind, don’t answer that question. Let’s just say that whatever time you spend, it’s too much. You’ve got enough to do, without putting things away, which had already been put away.

Child safety locks are one of the greatest helps for home organization ever invented. Yeah, I know, they really weren’t invented with that in mind; they were invented to protect the kids from danger. But, they can also be used to protect your things from the danger of your kids; specifically from the danger of your kids reorganizing what you’ve already organized.

Everyone knows that whatever a child can reach they’ll grab. So, we all take our breakables and put them out of reach. We put cleaning chemicals away where little hands can’t get them, and we put child safety latches on the cabinets under the sink. Okay, but what if we add child safety latches to the rest of the cabinets and drawers, including those in our bedroom dresser. Don’t forget the closet doors either. That will help keep the little kiddies from helping us with their redecorating ideas.

Bookcases are another area that need a little help. While putting glass doors on them might look nice, it can be expensive. We need a cheaper idea. So, buy yourself some spring tension rods for café curtains. Use these as “burglar bars” to keep the kids from pulling things off the shelf. They might complain for a moment that they can’t grab your books, but then they’ll find something else to do. Like I said, you don’t need their help.

Socializing While Home Schooling

If you are considering home schooling your child, there are some great ideas that you should investigate before jumping right in. For instance, there is a socialization factor that needs to be addressed for your children. They can not just stay home and not develop friendships. Having a social life is very important for young people to develop. There are many home schooling groups that are available for you to join. This means that your child can be around other children that are home schooled, and they can have a commonality, and from there develop relationships.

Many of these relationships are developed by being part of the group of the homeschoolers that travel together. This means that all of the field trips that are conducted are done so with the same group of students and parents. Because home schooling is at home, there is a really great need for students to go out and explore hands on things, or museums, in order to see a real life application of education, and of what they are learning. These trips helps solidify the information students are being taught. Being part of a specific group that does these types of outings is key for not just learning, but for friendships.

The other thing that a child is eligible for is sports through their own school district. Whatever school district that student belongs to, even though they do not attend that school, they can participate in the extra-curricular activities. It is a state accepted aspect because of property taxes. This is another way for your child to become friends with the other kids that live within the school district. It also means that if there are certain electives that you cannot teach, your child can attend the local public school for those subjects, then return for the rest of the day at home.